liz is a sweet girl...

[tree_of_jessie]

the moment i hung up the phone with zack last night my phone rung again. i'd just turned off my ringer, but i heard becca's phone ringing in the other room, miraculously. confused, i picked up the phone, and so began a very frantic phone call with liz
within 30 seconds of saying hi, she started crying. i felt so awful for her. she was drunk and freaking out and telling me how much she loves me and that i am her world, her love, her faith, her wonder woman... she just kept crying and telling me all these sweet things about me. i started crying. yeah she was drunk and that's wot drunk people do but i believe she was being sincere, cuz she talks like this when she's sober, too. also, being drunk doesn't make you lie, it makes you tell the truth, right?
i couldn't help but feel that overwhelming fear again, though... i often wonder how i manage to trick her an' zack into thinking these things... it scares the shit out of me
those thoughts are dangerous :(
and i'm hurting her right now and she comes to me crying and giving me so much love still
why? T.T

Comments

[lambtron.livejournal.com]

You deserve all sorts of goodness, honey. Be it from Liz, or me, or anyone else. You are a wonderful person, with a great personality and a loving heart. You are so good, Jess.

...I wanted desperately to write more but I can't put the words down. I think you know how I get when I start talkin' like this. It can be tough and it all just comes at once or it doesn't come at all. And the latter is happening.

I love you with all of my heart, sweetie. There's no trickery involved in it. You make me all melty.

xoxoxoxoxoxo. -D

[honeybee17.livejournal.com]

i notice i'm not on the list. because i've done this to you.

i'd say in liz's case it definately gets you closer to the truth. she's awfully guarded and squishy on the inside. i still think she compares to aid quite well. neither are really really mean but they try awfully hard sometimes but its so obviously layered.

liz sees the genuine in you too and that's not a trick. you should start really listening to what she's saying and consider believing it becuase it is true. and i'm sure it hurts her and zack when you don't believe them.

you've gotta stop worring so much and just be. these people are happy to be around *you*

[tree-of-jessie.livejournal.com]

you're not on the list because i know you've seen things that apparently they cannot.
and that's why i'm scared
and i can't stop worrying. it's because i don't want to hurt people...

[honeybee17.livejournal.com]

sure they have, they're just better at not complaining about it. just that you don't want to is what matters..