work people: they're jerks.
Oct. 30th, 2010 04:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tree_of_jessietrigger warning: talk about pregnancy, abortion, and people being general assholes.
--
so, a coworker of mine announced at lunch on thursday that she is pregnant.
this started a conversation about how everyone who sits in the seat where the woman (let's call her An) currently sits has ended up pregnant recently. this idea then shifted into the theory that women at new directions are now and will continue to get pregnant in alphabetical order according to their first name. it's an idiotic idea, for sure - the two women (C and L) participating in it are not people i carry very high opinions of in the first place (one reason: C LOOOOVES to use the word "tranny,") so i wasn't really super invested in even listening to the conversation at first, until it turned into some personally offensive shit.
they get down the list to "c" names, they agree to dismiss a candidate who has undergone a complete hysterectomy. (DUDES SOMEHOW AT LEAST 40% OF THE WOMEN IN THIS ORG HAVE HAD THEIR UTERUSES MEDICALLY REMOVED IT IS WILD AND EDUCATIONAL AS SHIT FOR ME. i am kindof stuck on/fascinated by this part of working at ND), and then the following their first uterus-free woman, C attempts to dismiss the next candidate as well, because her male partner has been medically sterilized. L responds (and this is not the first time we've heard this opinion from her) "yeah i don't believe in that." (vasectomies are like unicorns?) the last time she said this, she followed it up with "there's always that one strong swimmer." like, wtf, do you understand how vasectomies work?!
my partner has had a vasectomy, and she KNOWS this. we (myself, L and C) had a discussion about it at lunch recently. okay look that aside i think she is just being weird about this because we are talking about a medical procedure that has been around for over a century and is pretty well refined by now. modern vasectomies involve pulling both vas deferens out externally, cauterizing them AND clasping them each with a tiny piece of metal. they won't even check your fertility until 3mo after the surgery, because they're THAT extra-cautious about the minute possibility that the vas deferens might reconnect within that time. but still, somehow this "one strong swimmer" is not only going to make its way not only into a vasectomized person's ejaculate, BUT IT'S GOING TO SOMEHOW, ALL ON ITS OWN, SURPASS ALL THE BOUNDARIES WITHIN THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM AND INSEMINATE AN EGG. ONE SPERM. ONE. WHAT. her rhetoric is just so funny and WEIRD. do you know that the failure rate on vasectomies is less than 0.1%? and seriously you're still talking about it like it is not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy? REALLY? i feel like she's calling me a fool behind my back to my face for having faith in zack's vasectomy, and it's SO WEIRD because it's not entirely clear that SHE understands how vasectomies work. she's being such a rude ass. she knows i'm there, she knows i can hear her, and still she fights it like i don't know what i am fucking talking about.
i feel the need to point out now that L has a small reflexology business that she practices out of her home. she is very vocal about it (and that's fine - it's what's relevant to her life, right?) so i hear a lot from day to day about the small details of her appointments. i am not a believer in reflexology, at least not in the way L is. she practices it as a means of curing illnesses. alright. reflexology is a reliable method to curing a woman's gas (something L has directly said), but fucking CUTTING, BURNING AND CLAMPING THE BODY PART THAT SPERM TRAVELS THROUGH IS SO UNRELIABLE A METHOD FOR PREVENTING SPERM FROM ENTERING THE SEMINAL STREAM, YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SCOFF AND DISMISS IT ENTIRELY WHENEVER IT IS BROUGHT INTO CONVERSATION. i mean, does she not believe that she is a human being and as such maybe she could once in a while make a mistake and her reflexology practice may not work, but that alone does not necessarily mean that her reflexology practice is completely useless? or, you know, we don't even have to make it about HER error, but does she not believe that something could potentially go wrong that is outside of her control sometime? she SO THOROUGHLY believes in her practice, but the mere mention of vasectomies (it's not like i'm suggesting she get one!) and she puts on this hilarious display of disbelief. it's really interesting to me when people expect the standard of success for traditional medical practices to be SO MUCH HIGHER than that of non-traditional ones in order for the traditional medicine to be considered a success. FUCKING SCIENCE. IT IS HOGWASH.
also she was - only a matter of seconds ago - perfectly fine with the woo-woo idea that people were going to all get pregnant (if the person named was in possession of a uterus), and going to do it in alphabetical order according to their given names, simply because two people whose given names both happen to begin with an A at new directions have gotten pregnant in the last nine months. part of the theory was that this was going to happen because the two original women became impregnated in alphabetical order to start the trend (two. for real.), but even that was actually factually inaccurate. the woman who is 9mo pregnant has a name starting with Au. the woman who is nearly 3mo pregnant has a name starting with An. N COMES *BEFORE* U, YOU GUYS. (i feel like i should be making some obligatory being john malkovich joke right here? stop me.)
i am just so sick and tired of the disrespect. it's one thing to say: hey, once in a while that method fails, you know? (which would still be kindof shitty, because she's assuming i don't KNOW this shit, even though it is a part of my LIFE.) and talking about it like it is the fucking easter bunny.
also there is such a thing as abortions? i know that doesn't un-pregnant you for whatever amount of time your body happens to be pregnant but they were having this discussion in terms of who/when people were going to go on mat leave, and how the organization was going to handle that. really, this makes me wonder what this conversation was actually about in the first place. not being able to control your own uterus/anti-choice assumptions/FEAR?! well that sucks.
the second thing that really bothered me was the sudden change in language re: An's partner. the person who was consistently and without fail An's "boyfriend" leading right up to her reveal, was suddenly post-reveal An's "husband." i don't even care about whether or not she is legally married to him (she's not), it's just the presumed value system behind the language change that bothers me. who says An cares about marriage? who says she wants it? why does having a child together suddenly make this apparent change in An's relationship with her partner for L & C? so many busted up assumptions right there, all without ever letting An have a say in them. sooo wack.
--
so, a coworker of mine announced at lunch on thursday that she is pregnant.
this started a conversation about how everyone who sits in the seat where the woman (let's call her An) currently sits has ended up pregnant recently. this idea then shifted into the theory that women at new directions are now and will continue to get pregnant in alphabetical order according to their first name. it's an idiotic idea, for sure - the two women (C and L) participating in it are not people i carry very high opinions of in the first place (one reason: C LOOOOVES to use the word "tranny,") so i wasn't really super invested in even listening to the conversation at first, until it turned into some personally offensive shit.
they get down the list to "c" names, they agree to dismiss a candidate who has undergone a complete hysterectomy. (DUDES SOMEHOW AT LEAST 40% OF THE WOMEN IN THIS ORG HAVE HAD THEIR UTERUSES MEDICALLY REMOVED IT IS WILD AND EDUCATIONAL AS SHIT FOR ME. i am kindof stuck on/fascinated by this part of working at ND), and then the following their first uterus-free woman, C attempts to dismiss the next candidate as well, because her male partner has been medically sterilized. L responds (and this is not the first time we've heard this opinion from her) "yeah i don't believe in that." (vasectomies are like unicorns?) the last time she said this, she followed it up with "there's always that one strong swimmer." like, wtf, do you understand how vasectomies work?!
my partner has had a vasectomy, and she KNOWS this. we (myself, L and C) had a discussion about it at lunch recently. okay look that aside i think she is just being weird about this because we are talking about a medical procedure that has been around for over a century and is pretty well refined by now. modern vasectomies involve pulling both vas deferens out externally, cauterizing them AND clasping them each with a tiny piece of metal. they won't even check your fertility until 3mo after the surgery, because they're THAT extra-cautious about the minute possibility that the vas deferens might reconnect within that time. but still, somehow this "one strong swimmer" is not only going to make its way not only into a vasectomized person's ejaculate, BUT IT'S GOING TO SOMEHOW, ALL ON ITS OWN, SURPASS ALL THE BOUNDARIES WITHIN THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM AND INSEMINATE AN EGG. ONE SPERM. ONE. WHAT. her rhetoric is just so funny and WEIRD. do you know that the failure rate on vasectomies is less than 0.1%? and seriously you're still talking about it like it is not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy? REALLY? i feel like she's calling me a fool behind my back to my face for having faith in zack's vasectomy, and it's SO WEIRD because it's not entirely clear that SHE understands how vasectomies work. she's being such a rude ass. she knows i'm there, she knows i can hear her, and still she fights it like i don't know what i am fucking talking about.
i feel the need to point out now that L has a small reflexology business that she practices out of her home. she is very vocal about it (and that's fine - it's what's relevant to her life, right?) so i hear a lot from day to day about the small details of her appointments. i am not a believer in reflexology, at least not in the way L is. she practices it as a means of curing illnesses. alright. reflexology is a reliable method to curing a woman's gas (something L has directly said), but fucking CUTTING, BURNING AND CLAMPING THE BODY PART THAT SPERM TRAVELS THROUGH IS SO UNRELIABLE A METHOD FOR PREVENTING SPERM FROM ENTERING THE SEMINAL STREAM, YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SCOFF AND DISMISS IT ENTIRELY WHENEVER IT IS BROUGHT INTO CONVERSATION. i mean, does she not believe that she is a human being and as such maybe she could once in a while make a mistake and her reflexology practice may not work, but that alone does not necessarily mean that her reflexology practice is completely useless? or, you know, we don't even have to make it about HER error, but does she not believe that something could potentially go wrong that is outside of her control sometime? she SO THOROUGHLY believes in her practice, but the mere mention of vasectomies (it's not like i'm suggesting she get one!) and she puts on this hilarious display of disbelief. it's really interesting to me when people expect the standard of success for traditional medical practices to be SO MUCH HIGHER than that of non-traditional ones in order for the traditional medicine to be considered a success. FUCKING SCIENCE. IT IS HOGWASH.
also she was - only a matter of seconds ago - perfectly fine with the woo-woo idea that people were going to all get pregnant (if the person named was in possession of a uterus), and going to do it in alphabetical order according to their given names, simply because two people whose given names both happen to begin with an A at new directions have gotten pregnant in the last nine months. part of the theory was that this was going to happen because the two original women became impregnated in alphabetical order to start the trend (two. for real.), but even that was actually factually inaccurate. the woman who is 9mo pregnant has a name starting with Au. the woman who is nearly 3mo pregnant has a name starting with An. N COMES *BEFORE* U, YOU GUYS. (i feel like i should be making some obligatory being john malkovich joke right here? stop me.)
i am just so sick and tired of the disrespect. it's one thing to say: hey, once in a while that method fails, you know? (which would still be kindof shitty, because she's assuming i don't KNOW this shit, even though it is a part of my LIFE.) and talking about it like it is the fucking easter bunny.
also there is such a thing as abortions? i know that doesn't un-pregnant you for whatever amount of time your body happens to be pregnant but they were having this discussion in terms of who/when people were going to go on mat leave, and how the organization was going to handle that. really, this makes me wonder what this conversation was actually about in the first place. not being able to control your own uterus/anti-choice assumptions/FEAR?! well that sucks.
the second thing that really bothered me was the sudden change in language re: An's partner. the person who was consistently and without fail An's "boyfriend" leading right up to her reveal, was suddenly post-reveal An's "husband." i don't even care about whether or not she is legally married to him (she's not), it's just the presumed value system behind the language change that bothers me. who says An cares about marriage? who says she wants it? why does having a child together suddenly make this apparent change in An's relationship with her partner for L & C? so many busted up assumptions right there, all without ever letting An have a say in them. sooo wack.
