liz is a sweet girl...

the moment i hung up the phone with zack last night my phone rung again. i'd just turned off my ringer, but i heard becca's phone ringing in the other room, miraculously. confused, i picked up the phone, and so began a very frantic phone call with liz
within 30 seconds of saying hi, she started crying. i felt so awful for her. she was drunk and freaking out and telling me how much she loves me and that i am her world, her love, her faith, her wonder woman... she just kept crying and telling me all these sweet things about me. i started crying. yeah she was drunk and that's wot drunk people do but i believe she was being sincere, cuz she talks like this when she's sober, too. also, being drunk doesn't make you lie, it makes you tell the truth, right?
i couldn't help but feel that overwhelming fear again, though... i often wonder how i manage to trick her an' zack into thinking these things... it scares the shit out of me
those thoughts are dangerous :(
and i'm hurting her right now and she comes to me crying and giving me so much love still
why? T.T